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Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5

Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5
Empowering Children in Inclusive Classrooms

Edited by:

December 2009 | 152 pages | Corwin

When children, especially those with challenges, are not sufficiently understood and supported, they suffer intense frustration that contributes to social and academic failures. This book focuses on the vulnerabilities of youngsters to be bullied, especially those with learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD), Aspergers Syndrome, and gifted abilities. Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5 explains the victim dynamic, including how otherwise well-meaning adults can inadvertently facilitate development of victim personalities in children or unintentionally contribute to the development of bully personalities. The book also describes:

  • Bullying styles, including classic male models of domination and intimidation, and the relational bullying that is more characteristic of females
  • How some children, especially those with challenges, may be more likely to bully others to compensate for low self-esteem
  • How children with Aspergers Syndrome or gifted abilities and those who may enjoy greater popularity, can develop a sense of arrogance and superiority that leads to intellectual bullying, including cyber-bullying
  • Methods for intervening early before a negative dynamic progresses into middle or high school and affecting change becomes more difficult
About the Author
Inclusion Means...

Inclusion Means More

Inclusion Means Less

Educational Challenge

Exclusion...and Bullying

Compromising the Intent of Inclusion

Continuums or Labels

Three Perspectives

1. Inclusion, Exclusion, and Bullying
The Chicken Spends Its Whole Life...

The Hawk Spends Its Whole Life...

Anxious Vulnerability

Please Please Please...

The Loud Aggressive "Victim" Becomes a Bully

Victim Entitlement to Bully and Intellectual Bullying

Classification Creates Targets for Exclusion

2. The Stress, Frustrate, Fail, Suffer Method and Emotional Intelligence
The Real World

The First S Is for Stress--Stress 'Em!

The First F Is for Frustration--Frustrate 'Em!

F Is for Failure--Let 'Em Fail! (Make Sure They Fail!)

The Second S Is for Suffer--Let 'Em Suffer

Emotional Intelligence

3. Create Powerful and Successful Children
Win So He Would Throw a Tantrum

The Next SS Is for Sensitivity and Support

The Next SS Is for Skills and Strength

SF Is for Survive and Flourish

4. Social Cues
Who Is This Kid?

Reasons Individuals Don't Get it!

5. Reasons for Missing Social Cues
Physical Disability--Compensation (No.2 of 11): "What? Huh?"

Cross-Culture Issues--Cross-Culture Education (No. 3 of 11): "So that's what you mean!"

Overstimulation--De-Stress (No. 4 of 11): "I'm tired. I don' wanna have fun!"

Denial--Alleviate Fear (no. 5 of 11): "Nah, nah, nah!"

Anxiety--Stabilize and Secure (No. 6 of 11): "What? Where? Watch out? Where? Now? Oh no!"

Neurosis--Reality Filter or Check (No. 7 of 11): "That was then, and this is then."

Dissassociation--Trauma Work (No. 8 of 11): "Click...This station is no longer broadcasting...or receiving."

Learning Dissabilities--Compensation (No. 9 of 11): "Trying hard, harder, and harder..."

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (and Attention Deficit Disorder)--Focus (No. 10 of 11): "Attention wanders..."

Intoxication and Substance Abuse--Sobriety (No. 11 of 11): "Common adverse effects..."

6. The Victim Dynamic
Why Do You Pick Up Crying Babies?

Victimized by Victims

Reversing the Dual Theory of Frailty

How Victims Are Created

7. Creating Bullies
A Blustering, Browbeating Person

Bullies, Aggression, and the Search for Self-Esteem

"Who Are you Looking At!?"

"Huh? What?"

8. Relational Aggression
"You Can't Come to My Birthday Party"

What Do You Mean..."We?"

9. Frustration to Resentment to Aggresstion
Lost Self-Esteem

Bullies With Learning Disabilities

Bullies With ADHD

10. Arrogance and Entitlement
Bullies With Asperger Syndrome

Bullies With Gifted Abilities

11. Motivation and Survival
Adult Stress, Frustration, Failure (and Suffering)

"Or Else What?"

Internalized Motivation

Cultural Characteristics of Children With Challenges

The Ninety-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan

A Last Thought


“This is the first text I've read that connected specific disabilities to bullying. The material is informative, relevant, and thought-provoking. A useful tool in understanding the evolution of a bully and the necessity of early, appropriate intervention.”

Karen Thomes, Early Childhood Special Educator
Indian Island School, ME

“What wonderful insight Mah has into the workings of classrooms. This book applies to all children. This is a valuable read for both parents and teachers. I have been in education for over thirty years and found this book very beneficial. I loved the 90-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan. Thank you!”

Kathy Gallagher, Kindergarten Teacher
St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, St. Louis, MO

"I have been a therapist working primarily with children for more than 20 years, and I'm grateful to see issues about bullying given serious attention. The subtle and often devastating effects of children’s abusive behavior to one another can have enormous ramifications, yet for too long even professional adults have dismissed much of this behavior as being 'normal.' I am glad to see the research and detail that has gone into this book. All bullying needs to be monitored and addressed so children are able to see how their behavior affects others, learn new strategies to interact with peers, and get their needs met in healthier ways.”

Kim Meinke, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

“An honest and thought-provoking discussion exploring ways we can teach and support children to help them develop into capable learners and caring humans. Mah provides straight talk on how inclusion provides benefits but also many hurdles. To be truly inclusive, we have to recognize differences rather than ignore them, while teaching our students to develop better problem-solving and coping skills through strong adult support and reframing their experiences. Whether the victim or bully, all students need a better adult-supported framework for learning to work with their peers."

Michelle Garcia Winner, Speech Language Pathologist and Social Cognitive Specialist
The Social Thinking Center

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